8-23-20 Dealing with difficult training partners
"Your vibe attracts your tribe" you've probably heard this said before right?
Let's get real. Can you think of a time when you've spent time with a friend, or talked to someone so frequently that you started to pick up on their mannerisms and sayings? It's probably safe to say that we all have at one point, as us humans are programmed to pick up on the energies around us - be it negative or positive.
What about your tribe of workout partners? Let's face it, when you find a reliable workout partner, they are worth their weight in gold no matter their personality, in most cases. Showing up rain or shine is the number one criteria. Your results and expectations are directly related to those with whom you train with and having a partner showing up with the same goal as you is invaluable. You may belong to a gym that has a system set up that requires you to be teammates in powerlifting or another sport. This is your Strength Tribe, your sisters of iron but sometimes difficulties may arise and you may not see eye to eye.
Difficult personalities in your Tribe
First, examine if it's “fight or flight” response. Is there any part where you see yourself as powerless, wronged, or need to "fight" against the person or situation?
Taking the role as the wronged is like saying, “It’s not fair. It’s not right.” What is occurring may be completely unacceptable, however, holding this as a fixed point of view in your mind gives you limited options. As you eliminate this perspective, you become able to see other possibilities for handling the situation. Choosing to look at things from a wider perspective allows you to begin turning the tables and seeing the options you have beyond shying away or trying to fight your way out.
Acknowledge it’s not personal
When on the receiving end of bad treatment, it can appear very personal, especially if it has been on-going for some time. It can be tempting to try and figure out the problem — starting with taking it very personally. Speculating on what you might have said or done wrong to make this person do this when in truth it has nothing to do with you, is a pointless exercise. We truly don’t know what is going on for another person — the insecurities they struggle with, the kind of day they are having or what their experience of life is.
It may seem crazy or even impossible to have gratitude for someone who on the surface seems to enjoy trying to make your life worse, and it may appear that gratitude is too “airy” to have any real effect, but here is why gratitude is such a powerful player: it eliminates the judgment. Judging yourself or judging another person is how we get stuck into mindsets, thought cycles and fixed opinions about situations and people. You have already decided how it is and how it will be!
What can you be grateful for about the person or the situation? Remember, they show up every day to train with you, rain or shine.
The bond we create with our "Sisters of Iron" is built on the same driven goal of strength. Connections may be greater with some more than others but that bond remains the same with each person.
Hit the ‘reset’ button daily
Holding onto past resentments severely limits our ability to be open to the situation improving. And if something does occur, instead of letting it go easily, it gets added to the store of resentment and the negative experience compounds. Hit the reset button every day, for you and everybody else. Choose to see every interaction as brand new, with unlimited potential.
Never Underestimate the Power of a Strong Woman
The worst part of dealing with a personality you don't connect with, is not necessarily what they say or do, but the influence it can have on your own sense of enjoyment, happiness and fulfillment.
Acknowledging that you get to choose everything in life — your attitude, your happiness, your choices, actions and ability to creatively innovate — no matter what shows up. When you realize that no one else truly has control or power over you, then you are an unstoppable Strong Woman.
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